Tuesday, February 5, 2013
As I grew into a teen, I moved to the chair, sometimes peeling along with her. She still stood, and I still wondered.
She was up at dawn, tending to something or the other, always up, always working, never, never stopping. She raised four children and faced Carter's deep recession by growing a bigger garden.
She was a pastor's wife, so along with a hard physical life of self-sufficiency, she carried the grief of my father's congregations: wayward children (one of them her own,) miscarried babies, accidents which took fathers. At times, the loads were so heavy that I could not understand how she got up in the morning, let alone kept doing the work of her life.
All these years later, the secret is finally mine. I never asked, she never told me. I just watched, and learned.
I got here the same way she did.
You just....do. You get up. You keep going. You do the job in front of you. You grow weary and overwhelmed. You despair. You become exhausted.
You think about what would happen if you dropped it all, just lay all of the responsibilities on the floor and walked away, let someone else handle them.
Then you think about everyone who would suffer if you did that, think of the ones who depend on you and trust you....
And you know that while your job is impossible, quitting is not an option. Quitting would devastate the lives of those you love, and you won't do that.
During the tough years, this may be a daily cycle.
Daily you give it up, drop it all, momentarily reject it, give it back to God, go to sleep, knowing that the only way you will make it thru and endure is by letting Him carry you and set you back on your legs.
You get up in the morning, and you do it all over again....not for yourself, but for the ones you carry, the ones who trust in you.
You get strong legs for standing by just doing it - day after day after day.
God, in you, accomplishes the impossible the same way. Small task by small task, moment by moment, year by year...
one day, by His grace, you will look back and be amazed at how far He's carried you and what you've endured and just how long you can stand.